personal : tense (>< )

aiyooo. im quite stressful today. (> <) . again i have to talk about my study ,and about my japanese status. FRANKLY SPEAKING, I HATE JAPANESE LANGUAGE. in my head , i just wanna learn other languages like arabic or english which could give me more benefit. there is still some pro if you can master japanese. but i hate it . memang benar kalau kita tak faham dengan hati, kita tak akan buat. eventhough ive received tons of advices, my heart just doesnt have a space for japanese language (yet).

رَسُوْلَ الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقوْلُ:

((...أَلاَ وَإِنَّ فِي الْجَسَدِ مُضْغَةً إِذَا صَلَحَتْ صَلَحَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، وَإِذَا فَسَدَتْ فَسَدَ الْجَسَدُ كُلُّهُ، أَلاَ وَهِيَ الْقَلْبُ )). رواه البخاري ومسلم.

“Ketahuilah bahawa dalam setiap jasad itu ada seketul daging yang apabila ia baik maka baiklah seluruh jasad dan apabila ia rosak, maka rosaklah seluruh jasad. Ketahuilah ia adalah hati.”(Hadith ke-6, Hadith 40 An-Nawawi)

why wont God make me understand Japanese? why does other people understands it? why is it so hard for me? why is my capacity to remember it is so little? Is Japanese so great that i need to master it???? Is it good to me?

عن أبي هريرة قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم:

(( من يرد الله به خيرا يفقهه في الدين )). صحيح البخاري ومسلم

“Sesiapa yang Allah mahukan kebaikan baginya, Dia (Allah) memberikannya kefahaman dalam Ad-Din” [hadis riwayat sahih bukhari dan muslim]

i think the problem with me is not about the way i study , or how many hours i spend for science knowledge. but the real problem is my iman. if im good to Allah, ill be Ok. i know God exist. but the problem is the measure of my belief. how far is it?

is my life just about waking up, go to school, learn, eat, sleep, learn. then go to work, sleep, eat, go to work. just like a robot? is that the purpose of my life? is japanese language the purpose of my life? is being an engineer, the purpose of my life? if making money the only thing that ive to think about?

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالإنْسَ إِلا لِيَعْبُدُونِ (٥٦)مَا أُرِيدُ مِنْهُمْ مِنْ رِزْقٍ وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ يُطْعِمُونِ (٥٧)إِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الرَّزَّاقُ ذُو الْقُوَّةِ الْمَتِينُ (٥٨)

“Dan (ingatlah) Aku tidak menciptakan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mereka menyembah dan beribadat kepadaKu. Aku tidak sekali-kali menghendaki sebarang rezeki pemberian dari mereka, dan Aku tidak menghendaki supaya mereka memberi makan kepadaKu. Sesungguhnya Allah Dialah sahaja Yang memberi rezeki (kepada sekalian makhlukNya, dan Dia lah sahaja) Yang mempunyai kekuasaan Yang tidak terhingga, lagi Yang Maha kuat kukuh kekuasaanNya.”[ad-dzariyat :56]

Allah is He Who gives Sustenance. He decides for me to get good grades or not. as for what is good for me,He gives Sustenance.

the purpose man is created is for serving God/ibadah(51:56) and also as a vicegerent/khalifah (2:30) .

Just these two purposes.


Since i was born, ive been secularized between the hereafter and the world now. ive never been teached about the real purpose of my life. i remember when i was a kid "i wanna be an astronaut when i grow up". nobody told me to be a real khalifah. "everyone is born to be a khalifah" -- facts.. then, lets bury it in the agama text book. agama, is agama. other stuffs, is other stuffs. main bola guna seluar pendek, bila waktu sembahyang guna kain pelekat/seluar panjang. secularism. (><") every breath that i take and every movement that i make, should be understood as an ibadah. so, learning japanese and engineering should be an ibadah too. -i know, but i still couldnt "understand" it with my heart-

as ive mentioned above,man's purpose is not just about ibadah. we have the purpose to be a khalifah. the work of a khalifah is to pull in people who forgot their purpose of living, into doing ibadah and khalifah.

if i "understand" or have faith(iman) in it, i should understand that learning japanese could be a tool for my khalifah work.

GaZa issues. ..

Setelah tragedi berdarah di Gaza pada Awal Muharam 1430 yang lalu, kedatangan wakil Malaysia telah pergi ke sana dan bertanyakan bantuan apakah yang dapat disumbangkan namun tahukah jawapan yang diberikan..? Difikirkan pasti sekian-sekian bentuk bantuan yang akan diminta dan boleh disalurkan namun jawapan yang diberikan, “Pergilah kamu pulang ke tanah airmu. Didiklah anak-anakmu sebaik mungkin agar jika kami semua sudah tiada untuk mempertahankan bumi Palestin ini maka nanti adalah dikalangan kamu(saudara seislamku) bangun ke medan juang ini dan mempertahankan sehabis kudratmu,”

it makes sense. martyr/syahid is the best gift Allah could ever gift to a human being. Palestinians fighting there have 2 choices . its either they win or they syahid. Its a win win situation. you wont loose if you understand Deen.you wont loose if "understand" the purpose of your life. i want to grasp it too.
to my beloved people : please pray that God gives me understanding in Deen/ad-Din. please pray that God upgrades my iman or let me have an iman that is hard like a diamond . It doesnt matter if i get straight aces or not.a pass or a fail. what really matters is to ask God to give me what is best for me.

salam maal hijrah everyone. あけましておめでとう。今年もよろしく。