ESQ n my ego

do i have an ego? apakah itu ego ?

S: (n) ego, egotism, self-importance (an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others)
S: (n) self, ego (your consciousness of your own identity)
S: (n) ego ((psychoanalysis) the conscious mind)

at first my family went to an ESQ training in malaysia. the next thing, they wanted me to participate it in japan. insyallah it will be held in may 2009.
ive already watched ESQ a bit on youtube. i think ESQ is good coz it makes you think back about your Creator. rather than thinking of "how", its more likely of "why" you do something.

webside http://www.esq.com.my/ (malaysia) and http://www.esqway165.com/ (indonesia).


i understand why we need to do somthing, and insyallah i understand why im here. whats the relationship between khalifah and ibadah. and insyallah ive a mission. but sometimes the mission is placed at a different place. like the story of "who moved my cheese" .

i think this is ego. i know wat my purpose of life. i dont wanna go to the training because ive been to lots of prgms already. the prgms will wake me up , then im back sleeping again. well maybe level up skit kot. but the only way i can change is by myself. not by just a 2 day training. (tapi pergi training tuh pon zatiyah diri jyanai..) zatiyah diri pon pasal diri sendiri jugak jyanai...haha. im having conflicts.im not saying that programs and training are not good. they are absolutely great. but since the ESQ training is expensive and probably will bump into my schedule in May / golden week, which im absolutely positively sure it will be a busy time ... --- wait, i think its not ego, well ego at first, but now i think its all about the money.. haha.-- but then, my parents gonna pay for me --- now i think it is about my time.. ---ok, its not about ego nor money nor time, its about priority... i think (@_@)

is this prgm really gonna change me, or just another prgm that im quite imune already. not imune but i understand how prgms would usually effect on me. at first berkobar2, then down to the drain. but of course im training myself right now into not sliding into the hole too fast, trying to break at the slippery habbits and climbing up my inner self.

have anyone been to ISK prgms(+ the extras) and then went to ESQ ? do you feel it is necessity for me to go to ESQ??

tetiba ade gak terfikir, pegi ESQ sebagai satu cara utk belajar camne nak pysico org. camne org tuh mem"brain-wash" org lain. haha. iina... tapi semua bergantung pada niat, and ill get wat i'll niat..